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So many times in the last couple of days I have reached for my to text. I have so many thoughts about this whole mess that I want to say to you. A big part of me says If he truly wants you, he will figure it out. And there is this small part of me that knows my reaction to your words may have stopped any communication between us. You told me once you loved me with your whole soul. You told me many other things that haunt me through my day. I remember when you first told me you loved me. I remember the moment I fell in love with you. We do want two completely different things, but what I thought we had in common was US. Maybe I wanted this so badly that I ignored what my head was telling me. My head told me to listen to your actions. Did you ever make an effort to come and see me? But that was explained away and my heart believed it. That silly heart of mine, it has really gotten me hurt this time. I love you and this has brought me to my knees. You know I am the kind that can dust herself off and pick back up, but I am pretty sure this one is going to take a long time. I wish you nothing but love.. Wants sexual partners.

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